Cheers to Six-Years!
Today I celebrate my Six-year Cancerversary!!!
Six years ago, I made the agonizing decision that afforded me my greatest chance for long term survival, removing my breasts. Double Mastectomy without reconstruction.
Living my life flat and fabulous.
I remember hearing those words “you have cancer,” like it was yesterday. Over the course of those weeks, I reassured my kids, friends, and family that it was no big deal, my surgery was going to be a piece of cake. This was a big deal; I was about to completely alter my body in a drastic way.
Cancer is a BIG DEAL, no matter what stage or what type…it’s a HUGE DEAL!!
Just because I removed my boobs and that I am cancer free, does not mean that it is over.
Just the other day, I found myself becoming very emotional, and I noticed this has been a pattern over the last six years leading up to my Cancerversary. I thought I processed all of those emotions. I have come to realize that I have unresolved feelings and emotions that still require my attention. I realize that there is that part of myself that still needs a gentle hug, that reassurance and nurturing, especially when those waves of emotions come flooding back unexpectedly out of nowhere. I learned that deep down I am still grieving the loss of my breasts and the woman I once was, all while I embrace the woman that I have been evolving into and self-loving for for the last six years. The one feeling that has gotten me through my darkest moments is gratitude, being thankful. For being filled with thanks is the same as being full of love!
Celebrating this milestone every year may seem superfluous to some, but to me it is a significant, personal, overwhelmingly wonderful celebration and acknowledgement of my fearless journey. A celebration of a moment in time that tried to break me, but instead it ended up breaking me open. It broke me open to a beautiful acceptance and natural self-love that I have long craved my entire life.
Six years ago today, I beat Breast Cancer, which has propelled me on my journey of self-love...for that I am forever grateful.
I have been so blessed these past years to have all of your support, whether you just joined me on my journey, or you have been with me from the start, maybe you bopped in for a short while and left. No matter when or how your love and support has made a world of difference to me.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my journey with you. I love you all!!
Never Lose your Sparkle!
Time to Fall in love with yourself
Fall a time of change, beautiful changes all around. Crisp fall days, apple picking, pumpkin pie, and holidays that bring families together. Even the trees understand change.
This time of year the trees are in all their beauty with colors so brilliantly vibrant beautiful tones of yellow, orange, brown, providing us with beautiful tranquil scenery. Yet by months end they too lose their outward beauty…transforming into something much more wonderful. The falling leaves are a reminder that in time outward beauty fades. Each falling leaf shows us the brilliant transformation that while our outer beauty fades, we are stripped, left to see that true inner beauty is what makes us outwardly beautiful. We are left with months of seeing that tree bare it’s beautiful soul, yet sadly because it does not look like we want it to, it goes unnoticed by most of us.
This time of year truly resonates for me that all the beauty you need is already inside YOU!
For me, I now see things a bit differently, especially in October, but the message is still the same. The beautiful month of October now represents for me strength, hope, courage, grace, resilience, sisterhood and inner beauty! Where I might have seen warm beautiful tones, they have changed to beautiful shades of pink. The beautiful tranquil scenery has changed a bit as I look down and see the beautiful scars that adorn my chest. It too has brought what I consider family together, I have befriended a group of strong beautiful courageous women, with whom I have forged a special sisterhood bond with, they are my family!
I never imagined that my favorite time of year would be a reminder of this type of change. I never thought I would be writing about the loss of my breasts… but, I am here to share my story with all those who are willing to share along with me.
It is my greatest wish to inspire other women to love their bodies…love their beauty. However, in doing this it is so hard not to feel guilty standing here, as I remember all the beautiful trail blazers before me who were not as lucky as I, who lost their courageous battle with this awful disease. I dedicate my voice to them. I truly believe in my heart that I am here for a reason to share my story and help others, and I am so humbled and honored to do so.
If I can inspire just one woman to love herself, to love her beauty and to help her partner in life to understand and do the same, then that would make my heart so happy!